March (?) 1820
Sweetest Fanny,
You fear, sometimes, I do not love you so much as you wish? My dear
Girl I love you ever and ever and without reserve. The more I have known
you the more have I lov'd. In every way - even my jealousies have been
agonies of Love, in the hottest fit I ever had I would have died for you.
I have vex'd you too much. But for Love! Can I help it? You are always new. The last of your kisses
was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest; the last movement the gracefullest. When you pass'd my window .home yesterday, I was fill'd with
as much admiration as if I had then seen you for the first time. You
uttered a half complaint once that I only lov'd your Beauty. Have I
nothing else then to love in you but that? Do not I see a heart naturally
furnish'd with wings imprison itself with me? No ill prospect has been
able .to turn your thoughts a moment from me. This perhaps should be as
much a subject of sorrow as joy - but I will not talk of that. Even if you
did not love me I could not help an entire devotion to you: how much more
deeply then must I feel for you knowing you love me. My Mind has been the
most discontented and restless one that ever was put into a body too small
for it. I never felt my Mind repose upon anything with complete and
undistracted enjoyment - upon no person but you. When you are in the room
my thoughts never fly out of window: you always concentrate my whole
senses. The anxiety shown about our Loves in your last note is an immense
pleasure to me: however you must not suffer such speculations to molest
you any more: nor will I any more believe you can have the least pique
against me. Brown is gone out - but here is Mrs. Wylie - when she is gone
I shall be awake for you. - Remembrances to your Mother.
Your affectionate
J. Keats.
March (?) 1820
My dear Fanny,
I am much better this morning than I was a week ago: indeed I improve a
little every day. I rely upon taking a walk with you upon the first of
may: in the mean time undergoing a babylonish captivity I shall not be jew
enough to hang up my harp upon a willow, but rather endeavour to clear up
my arrears in versifying and with returning health begin upon something
new: pursuant to which resolution it will be necessary to have my or
rather Tavlor's manuscript, which you, if you please, will send by my
Messenger either to day or tomorrow. Is Mr D with you today? You appear'd
very much fatigued last night: you must look a little brighter this
morning. I shall not suffer my little girl ever to be obscured like glass
breath'd upon but always bright as it is her nature to. Feeding upon sham
victuals and sitting by the fire will completely annul me. I have no need
of an enchanted wax figure to duplicate me for I am melting in my proper
person before the fire. If you meet with any thing better (worse) than
common in your Magazines let me see it.
Good bye my
sweetest Girl
J- K-
March (?) 1820
My dearest Fanny, I slept well last night and am no worse this
morning for it. Day by day if I am not deceived I get a more
unrestrain'd use of my Chest. The nearer a racer gets to the Goal
the more his anxiety becomes so I lingering upon the borders
of health feel my impatience increase. Perhaps on your account I
have imagined my illness more serious than it is: how horrid
was the chance of slipping into the ground instead of into your
arms - the difference is amazing Love - Death must come at last;
Man must die, as Shallow says; but before that is my fate I feign
would try what more pleasures than you have given so sweet a
creature as you can give. Let me have another op[p]ortunity of
years before me and I will not die without being remember'd.
Take care of yourself dear that we may both be well in the
Summer. I do not at all fatigue myself with writing, having
merely to put a line or two here and there, a Task which would
worry a stout state of the body and mind, but which just suits
me as I can do no more.
Your affectionate
J.K-
March (?) 1820
My dearest Fanny,Though I shall see you in so short a time I cannot forbear
sending you a few lines. You say I did not give you yesterday a
minute account of my health. To-day I have left off the Medicine
which I took to keep the pulse down and I find I can do very
well without it, which is a very favourable sign, as it shows there
is no inflammation remaining. You think I may be wearied at
night you say: it is my best time; I am at my best about eight
o'Clock. I received a Note from Mr. Proctor today. He says he
cannot pay me a visit this weather as he is fearful of an inflammation in the Chest. What a horrid climate this is? or what
careless inhabitants it has? You are one of them. My dear girl
do not make a joke of it: do not expose yourself to the cold. There's the
Thrush again - I can't afford it - he'll run me up a
pretty Bill for Music-besides he ought to know I deal at
Clementi's. How can you bear so long an imprisonment at Hampstead? I shall
always remember it with all the gusto that a monopolizing carle should. I could build an Altar to you for it.
Your affectionate
J.K.
March (?) 1820
My dearest Girl,
In consequence of our company I suppose I shall not see you
before tomorrow. I am much better to day - indeed all I have to
complain of is want of strength and a little tightness in the Chest.
I envied Sam's walk with you to day; which I will not do again as
I may get very tired of envying. I imagine you now sitting in
your new black dress which I like so much and if I were a little
less selfish and more enthousiastic I should run round and surprise you with a knock at the door. I fear I am too prudent for a
dying kind of Lover. Yet, there is a great difference between going
off in warm blood like Romeo, and making one's exit like a frog in
a frost - I had nothing particular to say to day, but not intending
that there shall be any interruption to our correspondence
(which at some future time I propose offering to Murray) I write
something I God bless you my sweet Love Illness is a long lane,
but I see you at the end of it, and shall mend my pace as well
as possible
J-K